Swinging (Poem)

Swinging creates that illusion of flying
As I push off from the ground
Soaring high into the deep blue sky
I swing all the way up, before falling back down

Memories flashed by my eyes
Good ones and bad
There were those that made me smile
And those that made me sad


Up;
When I got back home
On my birthday’s eve
Mom & Dad threw me a surprise party
Under the falling autumn leaves

Blew out my birthday candles,
One, two, three, four, five
I tried my best not to cry
For I will never forget
The love I saw in my parents' eyes


Down;
Society is a complicated thing,
A language I couldn't comprehend
No matter what I did, I just couldn't fit in
Why? I really didn't understand.

Then puberty struck,
Pimples popping up on skin
I started worrying about my weight,
I started wanting to be thin.


Up;
I had a crush on a boy
With the most amazing brown eyes
Whenever he was near
I melted into nothing but sighs

His name decorated my front page
I got his number from a friend
He trapped my heart in a cage
Yet crushes such as this
Were destined to a bittersweet end.


Down;
Told my best friend a secret
She swore the pinkie swear
Yet the next day, everybody in school knew
It was more than I could bear

I confronted her, she denied
I did not believe, I knew she lied
I lost something in the most horrible way
I lost a friend that very day.


Up;
I finally learn
Happiness does not have a price
Love cannot be forced

Just be true to yourself
And maybe one day,
You’ll find the answers.

Rainbow Girl (Poem)

She was transparent on the inside out,
For all the colours had escaped from her heart.
Seeping out through her eyes,
The rainbow tears screamed down her cheeks,
And turned her skin into a technicoloured dream.

She was a rainbow girl no doubt,
The saddest one you'll ever meet.
Her heart is a black, empty husk now,
Her colours are stuck on her sleeve.


For all to see, but never truly understand.

Nightmare (Short Story)

She knew she was trapped in a nightmare. For one thing, there was this unexplainable sense of loss tugging at her heart. The pain was another far bigger reminder that this was no ordinary dream.

Her eyes searched around desperately, seeking for the only person who could help her escape.

But she couldn't find him.

Yet, just when she was about to give up hope, he appeared.

Buoyed by relief and love, she ran to him and hugged him tightly.

Everything is going to be all right now, she thought, smiling widely up at him.

Then she looked into his eyes.

And suddenly, reality crept into the dream and stung her hard.

He was the cause of this nightmare, the cause of all the tears shed at night before she went to sleep.

'Why?' she whispered to those cold, distant eyes, of a boy who once claimed he loved her more than anything else in the world.

His lips moved, but it was as if the nightmare had turned those words mute, into a silent stream of answers, excuses and lies that she would never have understood anyway.

"You'll be okay," he finally said in an audible voice.

How do you know? she wanted to ask, How can you assume that the process to being okay will not be painful? How can you do this to me when you were the one who promised me from the beginning that you would never hurt me?

But it was the first, last, and only line she heard from him before he pulled away from her and started walking.

Quick, short steps.

As if he couldn’t wait to get away from this nightmare, this dream … her.

"Wait," she called out to him. "Don't do this to us."

Don't leave me when I need you the most.

It was a silent plea, but the words echoed loudly in her heart.

He stopped, and turned to look back at her. He didn’t say anything, but she could read the unspoken answer, the unmistakable hurt in his eyes.

It is already too late.

And so she started running, harsh sobs racking her body as she sped across the endless terrain of the nightmare.

But no matter how fast she ran, it was like as though she couldn’t escape the pain. And his face seemed to have seared into her brain, no matter how hard she tried to forget.

Slow down, an inner voice whispered to her,

You have to accept the pain. Only then can you move on, one step at a time.

So she listened, she stopped, and she waited.

The pain washed over her in endless waves, overwhelming her to a point that she sank to her knees.

Tears silently streamed down her cheeks, she closed her eyes and willed herself to forget.

It felt like days, months, years, centuries. She didn’t know how long. Time seemed to have no control over this nightmare.

But when she finally opened her eyes, she knew she was strong enough to escape this cage that she’d allowed herself to be trapped in.

Slowly, she got up and started running again. This time, the pain had reduced to a dull ache in her heart.

It was still there, but she knew that in time to come, it would be forgotten.

And for the first time in a long while, she smiled.

Soul (Poem)

You know how you always liked to joke that having your photo taken steals away a bit of your soul?
The day we fell apart, I went straight back home to take photo after photo of myself with my Polaroid camera
I figured maybe if I tried to erase the bad bits of my soul,
Maybe you could learn to love me again.

If only two times maybe made it a definite thing that would come true.

But as I stared at my soul, now scattered across the floor in hundreds of photos,
All I saw was the face of a girl with the same pained eyes
And I slowly tore up each photo, one by one
Until what remained was the real me
A small, soaked pile of mutilated faces,

And a heart too shattered to care,
About a soul too imperfect to cure.

Colours (Poem)

You used to call me your liquid brown girl,
Because the colour matched my eyes,
And the result of sunlight falling upon my hair.
Then, you'd look deep into my soul and tell me,
How my eyes reminded you of falling autumn leaves.

I wanted to tell you that autumn predicted death,
that reds and oranges were far more vibrant than browns.
I wanted to ask if you were trying to mock me
with pretty words tainted with hidden meaning,
But you'd gently stroke my hair and sing me a lullaby,
And I'd close my eyes, lulled to forgetting.

My heart and cheeks burned a warm scarlet when you were near.
I doubt you ever saw their colours,
Because you walked away despite all your promises not to hurt me,
And I could only watch mutely,
As my heart slowly began to bleed crimson.

That was how I discovered that sadness did not have a real colour.
For my tears were not blue,
They did not match the sky's hue.
They were just translucent drops that
never
seemed
to
stop.

The next time I saw you,
You were black with lies.
And I couldn't bear to look at you,
Couldn't bear to see the ending in your eyes.

I think your description grew into a prediction,
Because a small part of me has already died and withered away,
Like those fallen leaves that you claimed mirrored my eyes,
On a clear yet bleak autumn day.

Now, I only wish I could read your soul,
Whenever you stared into the windows of mine.
Then perhaps I could see into your heart,
And learn if it really did ever love me once.

You,
with those eyes that seem angry yet sad at the same time,
A strange mixture of red & cobalt blue,



My purple black broken boy.