Silence (Poem)

I'm a disconnected, tangled mass of thoughts
with no way of unravelling them.

I tried burying them in ink,
but the words only bled spiraling graffiti
twisting round and round
until the hole in the paper matched my heart

I tried searching for suitable reasons,
but answers can never excuse facts
disappointment dragged down every letter
as the line between my memory and reality blurred.

You aren't who you said you were.
(it is difficult when you discover
you've been living in your imagination all along)

So silence is my new best friend,
there are far too many words that should never have escaped my fingers,
for the truth has left its bitter taste on my tongue,
a reminder of illusions and facades.

Repeat (Poem)

Life's like a record rewound over and over again,
And at the end of the day,
It's always the same sad story.

Start;

The world seemed like such a beautiful place,
Through rose-tinted glasses and a child's innocence,
And as rainbows soaked into everything I saw
I believed that evil and good was like black and white,
Easy to differentiate, easy to categorize

(I never wondered about the grey)

Play;

Reality slowly killed off the child in me,
As happiness turns fickle,
Hopping from one thing to the next
It never stayed at the same place for too long

I tried to look for it in things and 'love',
But the fireworks always fade in the end
And I'm left staring at the empty sky in disillusionment
Floating aimlessly on the currents once more.

(I never knew I was searching in the wrong places)

Stop;

I want to pull out the fingers on the clock
And demand for time's explanation
Twenty-four hours will never cover
All the mistakes I've made in life.

Rewind;

Every morning, I wake up,
Only to feel like it's the same day on repeat.
I'm growing backwards, falling back to sixteen
Sometimes, I question my sanity.

(Irony must be playing a big joke on me)

Because life's like a record rewound over and over again,
And at the end of the day,
It's always the same sad story.

Distance (Poem)

I dance on top of thin telephone wires,
Teetering on them like a tightrope walker
Just so I can hear your voice magnified
A thousand times over the mindless static.

And every day, I pack a hundred and one words
Into a battered suitcase sent through electric pulses
Hoping you'd receive at least the more important ones
Like 'miss', 'love' and 'remember not to forget me'

We are ten thousand miles and a heartbeat apart,
But when I close my eyes and speak to you,
I can almost feel you here beside me.

And I would run across those telephone wires
If it'd bring me to where you are.

Leaving (Poem)

Opposites
That's what they are.

When they first meet, she's on one side of the train platform
He's on the other.

She catches his eye with her odd habits
Like praying before boarding the train,
Skipping from one end of the platform to the other,
Or standing only at certain areas where the sunlight fell
Onto her pale, white skin.

He catches hers with his unwavering stare
And the serious expression he always wears
Like his dusty old T-shirt and worn out sneakers.

Over time, unspoken hellos are exchanged
And shy glances traded

He wants to know her more than guesses and mind games
She wants to teach him how to smile.

Yet, they are opposites
Him and her,
The trains always arrive at the same time
But they always leave in different directions

He doesn't dare to cross the line,
She doesn't know if she should follow her heart

Then one day,
She folds her courage into a plane of paper
And writes her hopes in ink.

'What's your name?'

He is about to reply,
When he catches her heart
Hidden in a fragile paper plane

But the train for the girl arrives first.
She stands inside and stares at the boy sadly,
Separated only by a train door
And a neverending track line.

Suddenly, a dark foreboding surges through.

Before she can turn to run out, the doors slide shut
Frustrated, she bangs her clenched fists against the glass window,
A desperate form of praying,
Her eyes darken in a silent plea.

No.

The boy waves at her
Then, for the first time,

He smiles

and she forgets
how
to
breathe.

All that's left
Is an imprint of his smile
Before she is swept away forever
By time and change.

Opposites,
That's what they are,
And always will be.

Numbers (Poem)

I used to think
We were a simple math equation
Like one plus two equals three.
No questions asked, the logic's there
For everyone to see.

I only figured out at the end that,
You subtracted meaning from your 'I love you's,
They valued zero nothing from the start
And I was too dumb to do the math,
I was too blinded by my heart.

Our conversation lasted five seconds, six words and
One sixtieth of an hour of silence
‘Did you ever truly love me?’
You were more interested in counting the time that went by
I spent the next fifty-nine minutes,
Trying my best not to ask why.

Numbers were never my strong forte,
Neither is love.

You used to say,
'I love you more than anything else in the world.'
Now, I can only wonder,
If I'm even anything else in your world.