Blue (Poem)

It is just a little ordinary crush, she says to herself,
On an ordinary boy out of the ordinary crowd.
'You look beautiful,' he told her at the prom,
She'd worn a dress the colour of the deepest seas,
But at that moment, she was drowning in his eyes.

Blue has been a part of her ever since
It was always there, present in any way possible
It coloured her clothes, her dreams, her personality
And gradually, she forgot how to be herself.

It is just an ordinary little crush, she tells everyone,
Even though she stares at him in school every single day,
Wondering if he'll notice the blue on her
Wondering if he'll compliment her again
He never did.

Then one day, she finds out
He’s fallen in love with a girl
Whose eyes are as blue as the sky,
And has freckles as countless as the stars

She buys a can of sticky paint
And splashes dark blue over everything,
The pillows, the desk, the four walls
There is no beauty in blue, she screams wildly,
There is no beauty in love.

She slams the door over and over again
But it's as though she got stuck in a muted dream,
And the banging is never loud enough,
For her anger is a mixture of
Deafening noises, molten heat and undecipherable screaming.

The paint finds its way into her eyes, her hair,
Slowly staining her skin
Filling her mouth with
The bitter taste of lead and rejection.

It was just an ordinary little crush,
she continues insisting.

And the tears begin to fall,
The closest they will ever be to being
A real blue part of her.