Colours (Poem)

You used to call me your liquid brown girl,
Because the colour matched my eyes,
And the result of sunlight falling upon my hair.
Then, you'd look deep into my soul and tell me,
How my eyes reminded you of falling autumn leaves.

I wanted to tell you that autumn predicted death,
that reds and oranges were far more vibrant than browns.
I wanted to ask if you were trying to mock me
with pretty words tainted with hidden meaning,
But you'd gently stroke my hair and sing me a lullaby,
And I'd close my eyes, lulled to forgetting.

My heart and cheeks burned a warm scarlet when you were near.
I doubt you ever saw their colours,
Because you walked away despite all your promises not to hurt me,
And I could only watch mutely,
As my heart slowly began to bleed crimson.

That was how I discovered that sadness did not have a real colour.
For my tears were not blue,
They did not match the sky's hue.
They were just translucent drops that
never
seemed
to
stop.

The next time I saw you,
You were black with lies.
And I couldn't bear to look at you,
Couldn't bear to see the ending in your eyes.

I think your description grew into a prediction,
Because a small part of me has already died and withered away,
Like those fallen leaves that you claimed mirrored my eyes,
On a clear yet bleak autumn day.

Now, I only wish I could read your soul,
Whenever you stared into the windows of mine.
Then perhaps I could see into your heart,
And learn if it really did ever love me once.

You,
with those eyes that seem angry yet sad at the same time,
A strange mixture of red & cobalt blue,



My purple black broken boy.

Living In Someone's Heart (Poem)

I used to reside in your heart,
You were the one, who first gave me the keys to the door,
You told me I filled up the entire space inside,
You insisted that I was the only one meant for you.

'Be my last,' you'd whispered.
I closed my eyes and silently echoed those words,
Tenderly tracing the imaginary outlines of your heart with my fingers
I always loved hearing your slow, steady heartbeat.

It reminded me of the unceasing rhythm of the ocean waves
That will go on forever until the end of time
In a way, I'd hoped our love could be like that too,
Silent, strong and unchanging.

And when a shooting star dropped from the sky that very day,
I believed in fairy tales.

'I wish I could stay in your heart always,' I whispered in my mind.
You must have heard my thoughts, because it's bad luck for someone to know your wish
Mine never came true.

I think I wished so hard until my heart contracted and dropped out onto the grass
I didn't see you crushing it with your foot until it was too late.
Or perhaps you really didn't see what you were stepping on until you heard the sound of my heart b r e a k i n g.

But I found myself stuck,
In a corner that steadily grew smaller
Till the day you came to me, saying,
'You don't belong here any longer'

And suddenly,
I'm standing outside,
Gazing sadly at the four walls of your heart
(sometimes, I don't think I was ever in there)

I wanted to ask 'Why' one and a million times over
You said I kept repeating my questions
But you never gave me the proper answer
To the only question that I really wanted to know.

Was it because I didn't dare sing for you,
Or because you never really loved me.?

Wreckage (Poem)

I'm standing blindly,
In the middle of a wreckage.

But there are no mangled vehicle plates,
Or injured victims who can no longer count to five.
Just a single, beating heart,
Bleeding on the gravel.

I hold my breath as though going underwater,
When all I'm doing is bending down
To inspect the damage.

Cracks appear from nowhere,
Intertwined like delicate cobweb veins.
Gently, I brush my skull white fingers,
Against the cold, raw exterior,
They tremble in a new shade of dark red.

That's probably when I realized
The heart belongs to me.

On certain days,
I'm the clueless bystander,
Standing at the sidelines,
Looking passively upon the wreckage,
Perhaps, I will throw in a look of mock sympathy
But it's not me that’s hurt,
I am another person entirely
I am not me.

Those are the days
I see, but do not feel.

On other days,
I become the owner of
That broken heart in the wreckage,
Those are the days when I wake up to reality
And the tears blind me to everything else.

Those are the days
I feel, but do not see.

Broken Fairy Tale (Short Story)

Once upon a time, there lived a girl who did not believe that she could not prevent her heart from being broken.

"It's impossible," all her friends told her, in that same sad voice that spoke of experienced heartbreaks and lonely nights spent crying themselves to sleep.

"You cannot protect your heart forever."

But the girl remained stubborn.

"I will prove you wrong," she said determinedly.

And so, she painstakingly wrapped her heart in thin strips of white cloth, before encasing it in a thick coat of metal. After the metal had cooled, she carefully placed her heart in a steel box and locked it.

"No one can possibly break it now," she thought to herself happily.

Days passed by, and the girl led a life that any normal girl could possibly lead.

She never bothered looking for a love she thought she did not need.

Then, there came a day when love found her.

At first, the girl and the boy were just friends. But slowly, it grew into something more than that, and on the day when he asked her to be his, she said yes.

She never thought he'd be the one to break her heart.

Still, protecting one's heart and learning to love someone at the same time was difficult, and the girl struggled in trying to do both at the same time.

However, you cannot learn to love someone without giving your heart up in the process, and the girl was at odds with herself.

The boy did many things for her, making her feel loved and cared for. But the girl did not know how to show her love back while still holding on to her heart.

She was afraid to show her heart to him, afraid to leave it out in the open. It made her feel vulnerable, and it was a feeling that she did not like.

Her pride swallowed her common sense, and she did not dare to display her love openly.

But it was still there, present in the way she smiled and laughed whenever the boy was around.

In the way she ruffled his hair whenever it was flat, the way she closed her eyes, committing his scent, his crooked smile to memory when she hugged him, the way she got the tingles when they held hands.

Yet, the boy never seemed to notice, or at least he did not understand the way the girl showed her love. He did not understand her.

And he did not love her enough to be willing to wait for her to slowly open up her heart.

He only kept the bad memories locked up in his own.

So, there came a day when he decided that saying good-bye was the best solution.

Even though there were probably another million and one other reasons that led to this happening, the one reason he gave, that he felt she didn't love him back, hurt the most.

"Forget me," the boy said to her, as though memories were words written in pencil that could be easily erased away.

"Forgive me," the girl whispered to herself.

Other words, other pleas, "Don't leave, please." were on her lips, but she knew it was too late. His back was already facing her; she could not see his face.

And that was when she learned the true meaning of heartbreak.

But how can it be so, she wondered, when I locked my heart up in a steel box?

She ran to check her heart in its steel box, only to discover that the box had split into two, leaving her heart bleeding on the ground, shattered into a million pieces.

Slowly, she sank to the ground in disbelief.

In trying to protect her heart, she’d only ended up breaking it even further. And it hurt just as much, if not, even more.

So the girl cried herself to sleep on the first lonely night of the following many that she'd spend, trying to fall asleep without dreaming of him.






Once upon a time, there lived a girl who did not believe in fairy tales.

She believes now, in broken, twisted ones that do not have the words happily ever after written at the ending.

The End.

Love Equation (Poem)

I do not know the proper equation of love.

But I do know how it feels,
To wait by the phone every single day,
For a call that may or may not come.

To have my heart leap in anticipation,
Each time the phone rings.
To have it crumble in disappointment,
When I answer it and the person is not you.

To cry myself to sleep on nights,
When missing you hurts,
And I wish that you were here by my side,
To wipe away the tears.

I know how it feels,
To grin like a fool for no reason,
When you're around
Or when I'm about to see you.

To hug you and experience the tingles
Travelling in tiny, electric patters
Across my skin.
And I'll close my eyes,
Hoping that we won't ever break apart.

I do not know the proper equation of love.

But when I see you,
I think I just might be able to guess
What it is all about.