"So will Richard get to kiss the only girl he has ever truly loved? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Teen Rebel'!"
As the credits rolled and the show's ending theme song started to play, a young boy sat in front of the television screen, stuffing potato chips into his mouth. Though he was lying comfortably on the couch, his eyes did not show any trace of sleepiness after having watched the hour long episode.
The Teen Rebel was his all-time favourite TV show. Somehow, the idea of a male character who led such a perfect life with problems that were solved within a single episode’s time frame, had appealed to him greatly.
And he had watched every episode up till now.
"Robin, lower the volume of that stupid television show!" his mother yelled in exasperation over the catchy tune of the show's theme song.
Ever since Robin’s father passed away two years ago, she seemed to have less patience with anything that Robin did. Yet he could not understand why his mother still seemed so depressed. After all, to see his father around the house was more of a monthly occasion and Robin rarely even got the chance to talk to him.
Rolling his eyes, he switched off the television set and padded into the kitchen where his mother was preparing dinner. Sliding into a kitchen chair, he rested his face against the cool surface of the dining table and watched his mother pour a ladle of cooking oil into the iron wok.
A question had been burning inside him after having watched today’s episode and now seemed like a good time to ask his mother about it.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"Why do characters on TV lead such perfect lives? I mean, they have good looks, perfect skin, good grades ... why doesn’t it happen to me?"
His mother laughed. She sounded amused by his strange question.
"Darling, you're only seven this year! Why are you so worried about these kind of problems?"
Robin’s mouth began to set into a sulk. He hated it when his mother did not take him seriously. And she always never did.
"Because I don’t want to be ignored ..." he said softly.
When I’m already being ignored by you.
"Well, these characters are simply following a script," his mother said in a preoccupied tone as she began frying the onions.
"Really?"
Robin suddenly perked up when he heard his mother’s answer.
A brilliant idea had just struck him. He could not imagine why he had never thought of this before.
"So ..." he said slowly, "if I write my own script and follow it, my life will turn out the way I want it to be?"
There was a long pause. Robin patiently waited for his mother’s response. But she already seemed to be lost in her own world, standing motionless in front of the stove.
The smell of burning onions filled the air.
"Mom!"
She gave a start, accidentally knocking her hand against the frying wok. Uttering a sharp cry of pain, she pressed her scalded hand against her lips and grabbed a wet towel to soothe the burns.
Scrunching her eyes shut, she looked as though she was trying to force back the tears that refused to stay put. Robin wasn’t sure if her scalded hand was the only reason his mother was crying.
"I'm sorry," she finally murmured distractedly, turning to take a plate of carrots and empty them into the wok. "I'm sorry ... I wasn’t listening."
But she did not ask him to repeat his question. And Robin did not feel like talking to her anymore.
Without a word, he ran back to his room. He couldn’t wait to get started on his script.
Grabbing a pencil and a stack of paper, he sat at his desk and started to scribble down his idea about how his life should turn out to be.
By Robin Tan
"It is a brite & suny morning when Robin wakes up the next day. He yawns and smiles as the birds outside cheaps merily ..."
After adding the finishing touches to his work, he stuffed the four page long script into his school bag and skipped out of the room to have his dinner.
He couldn’t wait for the next day to arrive ...
He awoke to the sound of rumbling thunder in the distance.
Scratching his head, Robin yawned and sat up in bed gloomily. He’d expected it to be a sunny morning and yet here was the weather, looking decidedly glum. There were no birds outside his window to serenade him either.
Was there something wrong with the way he’d described the start of morning in his script?
The very thought was rather demoralizing.
Never mind, he comforted himself, this is only the start of the day.
Feeling slightly more cheerful, he got out of bed and plodded to the bathroom to get ready for school.
After having brushed his teeth and washed his face, Robin continued to stare at the mirror, frowning at his own reflection. With a cherubic smooth face and bright black eyes, he looked just like any ordinary young boy out on the streets. But he wasn’t satisfied with that.
Today was a different day. Today, he wanted to look different.
Opening the bathroom cabinet, he searched through the bewildering array of hair and skin products that his mother used. Selecting the various bottles and containers that appealed to his eye, he arranged them neatly at the sink and surveyed them critically.
Robin didn’t really understand what each and every single one was supposed to do so he decided to opt for the easiest one first. Hair gel.
He had often seen his mother using it to apply to her hair when it was all out of sorts so he’d a fairly good idea on how to use it.
Dipping his fingers into the gooey substance, he raked them through his hair and started spiking it up. He tried to base it on one of the punk hairstyles he’d remembered seeing in a teenage magazine a few days ago, but somehow he could never get his hair to stand the way he wanted it to.
He gave up after a while and moved on to the other products, spraying himself with perfume and dabbing his face with anything that looked like white cream. Fifteen minutes later, he stepped out of the bathroom, feeling like a whole new person.
Breakfast was simple, white bread spread with margarine and hot Milo. His mother had already left for work so he sat alone at the table munching on his bread.
Though he’d hoped for a more interesting breakfast, Robin was only thankful his mother didn’t get it in her head to cook one of her bizarre dishes in the morning.
Grabbing his school bag, he swallowed the rest of his bread and left the house. As his school was a ten minute walk away, Robin decided to walk and save on the bus fare. Furthermore, the Robin he’d written in the script was someone who was suave and charismatic, and he wanted to have enough time to get into character.
Strolling down the pavement in the early morning, he adopted a casual swagger in his walk. His face was a perfect villain’s caricature of a person smirking exaggeratedly. He had practiced this expression in front of the mirror earlier on and decided, after a few tries, that this was the best version of looking cool.
Passers-by who walked past him couldn’t help but stare in surprise. After all, in such early, rainy conditions, no one would have expected a young boy to come strolling down the streets, looking as though he was going to dominate the world.
Robin kept up with his newly formed character even when he walked through the gates of Greenvale Primary School. Even when students who walked past him kept whispering and giggling as they looked at him.
Until he saw her.
His newly found confidence seemed to falter as she walked past him, a hidden smile on her lips.
Melody. Even though she was a new student transferred over from another school, she was already considered one of the more popular girls amongst the students. With her clear features and easy going personality, it was easy to see why she was so likeable among her peers.
And Robin had a huge crush on her.
Half of his script was dedicated to her, fantasizing about how he was going to successfully win her heart.
ROBIN
[charmingly]
'Has anione told you wat beutifool eyes you have?'
MELODY
[eyes fluterring]
'Oh Robin! That’s the swetesst thing anione has ever told me!'
Seene ends with Melody conffesing that she lykes Robin."
But reality felt different. And scary.
Robin decided to wait till recess to tell her what he wanted to say. Time seemed to crawl past as the teachers droned on and on about things which he barely listened to.
Yet when the recess bell rang, he dreaded the moment more than ever. I’ll tell her after lunch, he promised himself.
After a big bowl of fishball noodles, two curry puffs and three cups of drinks, he knew he could delay no longer.
Taking a deep breath, he ran a hand through his hair and sauntered over to Melody. She was sitting in the canteen, laughing and talking with her friends.
His legs seemed to have taken a life of his own, taking him nearer and nearer to her. It was as though someone had pressed the mute button on the surrounding noise; so loud was the pounding of his heart.
He could not back down now.
"H-hi ... Mel ... Melody ..." he stammered.
Everyone had stopped talking now and turned to stare at him. The same question could be seen clearly on every girl’s face.
What was a guy like him doing here?
"Hi Robin," Melody said cheerily. She did not seem to think it odd that he was only greeting her and not the others.
But then again, she was the sort who took things as they came.
"Has ... has anyone ever ..." he began, and paused.
What was wrong with him? He was supposed to be acting as cool as a cucumber.
He could not afford to lose face now and the girls knew it instinctively, their eyes challenging him to say what he did not dare to.
Please let the script work.
"Has anyone ever told you what beautiful eyes you have?" he blurted out.
The girls started to titter amongst themselves excitedly. All attention was now focused on Melody. Yet, she merely looked rather surprised if nothing else.
"Well, no ... but thank you, Robin," she finally said, smiling faintly.
The bell for the next period rang and she got up to leave.
"Wait," Robin wanted to speak.
You were supposed to say you like me.
But when he opened his mouth, he threw up instead.
He should not have eaten so much for recess. His fear had pushed all the excessive food back up.
Wailing in disgust, Melody tried to move back but it was too late. The puke had gotten all over her skirt. She started to cry while the others gathered around to comfort her, shooting dagger glances at Robin, the culprit responsible for all this. Someone went to call the teacher.
Ashamed and red-faced, Robin could only stand there silently as the teacher who arrived on the scene started to reprimand him for bullying Melody.
What had gone wrong?
She was supposed to confess that she liked him. Not getting disgusted with him throwing up all over her.
He was supposed to be cool. Not acting like some stammering idiot in front of her.
Nothing was going according to plan, and Robin was growing very demoralized. He’d thought the script would be the key to everything but he was starting to see what a foolish fantasy it had all been.
So ... if I write my own script and follow it, my life will turn out the way I want it to be?
I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I wasn’t listening.
He sat alone in the canteen now, not wanting to go back to class and face the humiliation there.
"Hey kid."
Robin almost jumped at the sound of the voice. He turned to see who it was and saw a young twelve year old boy smirking at him.
With his school shirt tucked out and multiple piercings on his ear, he looked to be the very epitome of cool. He was someone whom Robin had aspired to be but had never quite visualized it properly. Until now.
"H-hi ..." he stammered. "Do I know you?"
The boy grinned.
"I'm Jet,” he answered, "I saw what you did to that girl back there ... and I gotta say I'm impressed. That took guts."
"Er ... the puking all over her or the telling her that her eyes are beautiful?" Robin ventured.
He wasn’t sure whether this boy was joking around with him or being serious.
Jet's lazy drawl made everything sound far too casual.
"Both ... since you put it like that,” he said, laughing. "But you're cool."
That last statement was dropped somewhat carelessly but it made Robin tingle with pride. Someone actually thought he was cool. Perhaps the script was working after all.
[in a bored voyce]
"School's bore-ing. I'm going outside to take a walk."
RANDOM PERSON
[admyeringly]
"You're so kewl, Robin."
"Thanks," he said coolly.
Sliding off the bench, he walked off. But he did not head back to the classrooms.
"Where're you going?"
"Outside. To take a walk. School's boring," Robin replied over his shoulder.
He was hoping that Jet would come along or utter more words of praise, but the twelve year old boy simply sat where he was, laughing and shaking his head in amazement.
So Robin walked out of the school gates alone.
The sky was now a clear shade of porcelain blue after the morning showers and the sun was out. The day had turned warm and sunny and there was a breeze working its way up.
This cheered Robin up considerably.
His shirt was all tucked out and the smell of vomit still clung to him but he didn’t care. Somehow, that did not seem important any longer.
He was a cool kid now, and cool kids did not concern themselves over such trivial matters.
Wearing a self-satisfied smirk, he walked past a trio of girls sitting at the sidewalk. They were smoking cigarettes and talking among themselves.
"Aw, lookie at dat boy walkin' past us ... he'sh sho-oo key-ute!" one of them said half-mockingly.
Robin turned, and froze when he caught sight of the girl who had spoken. He wondered how he had actually walked past her without noticing her at all when everything about her screamed for attention.
Her hair was streaked with dark blue and violet stripes and various piercings decorated her eyebrows, lips, nose and ears. She was decked out in a bizarre mixture of multi-colored clothing; a neon pink and yellow tank top with a green cardigan, orange hot pants and black and red platforms.
She was like a walking rainbow.
"Oh, so now ya be checkin' me out huh?" the girl threw her head back and laughed as though she'd just said the funniest joke in the world.
She then proceeded to take a swig from a half-empty liquor bottle that appeared to be shared amongst three of them.
"N-no ... I wasn’t ..." Robin stammered, as his eyes continued to take in the rainbow bangles encircling the girl’s wrists.
But he was lying. He could not take his eyes off her.
She smiled knowingly, looking almost attractive when she did so. But Robin could see the subtle signs of deterioration. Her eyes were drooping to half-mast; her breath reeked heavily of cheap alcohol.
"Comes shhere," she slurred, beckoning him with one finger. "I donch bite."
Tentatively, he moved closer.
"Aw girl, don't tell me you're hitting on young boys now too?" her other friends said in disbelief.
They had dyed hair and piercings too, but Robin ignored them. Compared to her, they were like the concrete ground.
Bland, grey and washed out.
"No-oh, of courshe nawt," the girl said scornfully, sounding momentarily sober in her drunken state. "I jesh wanna gift 'dis li'l devil here a taste of real life."
She pulled out a purse from her pocket and took out a pink pill.
"Heresh shome canday fer you, boy," she mumbled, smirking as she took Robin’s hand and pressed the pill into his palm.
"Candy?"
"Yesh, but thish candy is da best-est sort of canday in da world," the girl whispered confidentially. "See, it makes ya feel so high ya think ya can fly. It gives ya hope. It gives ya dat kinda speeshial feelin'. Ya know, like when ya shee da rainbow after da flood 'cos ya know dat God painted it speshially for ya ta shee."
"Oh."
Robin looked down at the pill. Then he looked up at the sky.
"Well ... then, have you ever seen a rainbow?"
It was an innocent enough question, but the girl fell silent as her eyes traveled up to the sky. They seemed to be searching for the answers that she was unable to give.
She looked lost all of a sudden.
"No," she said softly. "No, I haven’t."
For a girl who donned the colours of the rainbow, it struck Robin as strange that she had never seen one before.
"Oh,” he said. “Well, thanks for the candy."
She smiled again. But Robin could see the sadness traced across those pale lips of hers.
And suddenly, he felt like he’d had enough of being someone else.
Running back to school, he attended the last lesson. The teacher did not seem to notice that he’d been missing and no one questioned his non-existence for the past one hour.
He couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing.
When he went back home, his mother was already sitting at the sofa watching television. Though her eyes were fixed on the screen, she did not seem to be paying attention to what she was watching.
Robin did not bother greeting her and trudged off to his room. He threw his bag down on the floor, changed into a clean shirt and collapsed onto his bed, exhausted.
Today had been a rather eventful day. Robin was sure it was because of the script he’d written. Even if it had not worked to the letter, it had made him do things he’d never have done otherwise.
Then he remembered the sweet that the girl had given to him. Taking it out from his pocket, he surveyed it curiously.
Small, pink, and hard.
What was so good about this candy that it could actually give one hope?
There was only one way to find out.
Popping it into his mouth, Robin started to suck on it. It had a strange taste. He almost wanted to spit it out but ended up swallowing it instead.
Almost immediately, the world seemed to spin rather alarmingly and he closed his eyes tightly to try and stop the dizziness.
His heart felt like it was slowly being squeezed. Beads of sweat were breaking out across his skin. He could not breathe.
Gasping and convulsing, he fell to the floor senseless. His mouth was open but the words would not come.
Help me, Mom ...
She never heard him, lost in her own prison of thoughts a world away.
It was too late.
Looking down at his physical body lying on the floor, he smiled. The girl was right, he really could fly now.
No worries, no burdens, no fear.
My perfect life.
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