Living In Her Shadow (Poem)

She was the life of the party
Wherever she went.
I merely followed,
Like a shadow in her wake.

We will always be best friends, she tells me
Sounding so sure of herself
As if words alone could cement
Our dying friendship.

She does not know
How ugly I imagine myself to be,
Whenever I'm around her.
Like some worthless person
No one would ever notice.

She does not know
How insignificant I feel
Every single time
She tells me all about the latest guy
In addition to the many others

They try to woo her
Vying for her affection, her attention
Showering her with gifts and calls
In an attempt to win her heart.

While I sit at the sidelines,
Always listening,
Always watching,
But never participating.

Like a substitute player,
Overlooked by the audience,
Lowly regarded by my friends,
Unnoticed by everyone.

She does not know,
How hard I try.
To be like her.
To look like her.

Hiding my face with cosmetics
Applying them thickly,
To erase all the flaws,
Both imagined and real.

Yet I knew,
No amount of make-up
Could disguise the insecurity within.
What I could only borrow,
Was false confidence.
And pretended arrogance.

For she has stolen mine away.
Cursing me to live in her shadow
Forever and always.